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A Ball, A Banana Skin, & A Bomb

There was a man who wanted to do a experiment on a air plane with three objects, a ball, a banana skin, and a bomb.

He dropped them all out of the plane.

When the plane landed, he found a man rubbing his head. He asked him what was wrong, the man said a ball fell from the sky and hit him on the head.

The man continued on his way and found a little girl crying. he asked what was wrong she said she slipped on a banana skin.

The man continued walking to find a little old lady laughing so hard she could barely breathe.

He asked her what was so funny, she said she farted and her house blew up.

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What do women really want?

Now, this is meaningful! It is a very interesting post I read from an email, found that it is so interesting that I want to share it! :D Here you go:

Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a neighboring kingdom.. The monarch could have killed him but was moved by Arthur’s youth and ideals. So, the monarch offered him his freedom, as long as he could answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out the answer and, If after a year, he still had no answer, he would be put to death.

The question was: What do women really want?

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, And to young Arthur, it seemed an impossible query. But, since it was better than death, He accepted the monarch’s proposition to have an answer by year’s end.

He returned to his kingdom and began to poll everyone: The princess, the priests, the wise men, and even the court jester. He spoke with everyone, but no one could give him a satisfactory answer. Many people advised him to consult the old witch, For only she would have the answer. But the price would be high as the witch was famous through out the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she charged.

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no choice but to talk to the witch. She agreed to answer the question, but he would have to agree to her price first.

The old witch wanted to marry Sir Lancelot, The most noble of the Knights of the Round Table, And Arthur’s closest friend! Young Arthur was horrified. She was hunch-backed and hideous, had only one tooth, Smelled like sewage, made obscene noises, etc.

He had never encountered such a repugnant creature in all his life.. He refused to force his friend to marry her and endure such a terrible burden; But Lancelot, having learn of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He said nothing was too big of a sacrifice compared to Arthur’s life. And the reservation of the Round Table. Hence, a wedding was proclaimed and the witch answered.

Arthur’s question thus: ‘What a woman really wants?’

‘Is to be in charge of her own life,’ said the Witch.

Everyone in the kingdom instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth.
And that Arthur’s life would be spared. And so it was. The neighboring monarch has granted Arthur his freedom.

Lancelot and the witch had a wonderful wedding. The honeymoon hour approached and, Lancelot, steeling himself for a horrific experience, entered the bedroom. But, what a sight awaited him.

The most beautiful woman he had ever seen lay before him on the bed.

The astounded Lancelot asked what had happened. The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her when she appeared as a witch, She would henceforth be her horrible and deformed self only half the time.  And the beautiful maiden the other half.

“Which would you prefer? Beautiful during the day …. or at night?” She asked him.

Lancelot pondered the predicament:

During the day he could have a beautiful woman to show off to his friends, but at night, in the privacy of his castle, an old witch!

Or,

Would he prefer having a hideous witch during the day? but by night a beautiful woman for him to enjoy wondrous, intimate moments with?

If you are a man reading this, What would YOUR choice be?

If you are a woman reading this, What would YOUR MAN’S choice be?

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Noble Lancelot, knowing the answer the witch gave Arthur to his question, he said that he would allow HER to make the choice herself.

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time..

Because, he had respected her enough to let her be in charge of her own life. Now, what is the moral to this story?

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1) There is witch in every woman no matter how beautiful she is!
2) If you don’t let a woman have her own way, things are going to get ugly.

So, always remember:
IT’S EITHER ‘HER WAY‘ OR IT’S ‘NO WAY‘!!!

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GOLD for NAPFA Fitness Test!

FINALLY~ I have managed to got a GOLD award for NAPFA TEST! I’m so proud of myself because I managed to improved from a FAIL to GOLD award! Woooohoooooo!!

Here’s my results for today’s NAPFA test @ 20 February 2009!

Score

Grade

Points

Sit-Ups (in 1 minute)

45

A

5

Standing Board Jump

256

A

5

Sit & Reach

55

A

5

Pull Up (in 30 seconds)

11

A

5

Shuttle Run (4 x 10m)

9.4

A

5

2.4km Run

11.21

C

3

Total Points

28

Overall results:

GOLD

For the sit-ups: I stopped after doing 45 times (more than or equals to 43 to get A) & surprisingly, I still got 20 seconds more to go! Normally I would only left with around 10 seconds when I stopped at 45 times! Cool~

For standing broad jump: I got 251 for the first try, then I retake again to get 256! This station is normally the very random station, where I always get between 230 to 255 (the gap is big), but today looks like my condition is quite good!

For sit & reach: As usual, I do the secret technique – this time thanks to Wei Ming & Haja to help me press my back before the test; 55 is so far my best record!

For pull-up: I’m surprised that my secret training works – do 20 push ups everyday; and always practise some pull up whenever I walk past a pull up bar in school (NYP has alot of pull up bar around SEG). I was aiming to stop at 7 times, but I realise that it was quite smooth, and I stopped at 11 – trust me, I can do more! This is the first time I ever have the “pull-up is sooooo easy” feeling! It’s great! :D

For shuttle run: No comments, maintained my average at 9.4 in every test.

For 2.4km run: I finally get to achieve a C grade in this station!! This is my first time getting a C grade in this station ever since I came to POLY! Cool~ thanks to wei ming, his pacing helped me big time! I am so glad that I am able to maintain all the way for all 6 rounds even after not been training my stamina for 3 weeks~!! And thanks to the atheletic guy who ran past me during my final lap, I screamed and sprint all the way trying to chase him down :D HAHA!

That’s it! I’m done! GOLD! FINALLY A GOLD! I still remember that during last year’s JULY, I failed my NAPFA test!

I’d like to thanks Ms Lily Soh and Ms Lim Lay Beng for organising NAPFA trainings for us & sponsoring us in personal trainings conducted by our NYP student admin office’s Head Trainer, Mr Jin Long; his training is so effective & practical, I from only able to do 1 time FULL pull-up (not the slightly more than 45 degree that kind), to now I am able to do more than 11 times FULL pull-up, thanks to his guidance and trainings!!

Also like to thanks James, Wei Xiong, Roger, Wee Neng, Yong Jun for training with me ever since the first batch of trainings! And also the others whom joined in later, Wei Kiang, Yan Sheng, Yu De, Vincent, and Benjamin Lim!

As long as there is determination, nothing is impossible! Believe it! :D

Unofficially Graduated from NYP!

Yes! I’m now unofficially a fresh graduate from Nanyang Polytechnic! :D

Huh? Why ain’t I officially a fresh graduate? Oh, that’s because I have not receive my diploma yet! I’m waiting for the graduation ceremony, where the dates is most likely to be confirmed by early March!

I just had my distinction presentation to the Directors panel today; I’m glad that I did reasonably well, in my opinion. However, only 5 out of 11 students will be able to get a distinction grade. Thus, it is very challenging.

I’m glad that all of us were able to try our best and go for this bonus, it’s a fair competition. Wish everyone good luck!

Nothing to worry about because all of us already had a guaranteed A grading for our Final Year Project (FYP), so this competition is purely a bonus stage~

I’m so happy that I have a “holiday” tomorrow, it’s like FINALLY! I have been waiting for this day…!!

Oh no, I still have to do my final report (AES) and submit it to Madam Kang by Friday! T.T

Never mind.. tomorrow then go and do~ Just wanna take a break right now :p

For those who have not sent in your university application – please be reminded to do so as soon as possible, I’m going to sent out the envelopes by tomorrow too!

Especially candidates who are aiming for National University of Singapore (NUS), this saturday is the last day; thus logically, tomorrow never sent out the snail mail means that there is 0% chance of getting it to reach them by 21st Feb (This saturday).

As for candidates aiming to go for Nanyang Technological University (NTU), please be reminded that they closes application on 28th Feb. Although people who are applying for School of Engineering (not sure other schools) does not require us to sent in any supporting documents :p

Okay, I’ll update again soon!

Cheerios! :D

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Installing LOVE

Installing LOVE

Customer Service Rep: Can you install LOVE?

Customer: I can do that. I’m not very technical, but I think I am ready to install now. What do I do first?

Customer Service Rep: The first step is to open your HEART. Have you located your HEART ma’am?

Customer: Yes I have, but there are several programs running right now.Is it okay to install while they are running?

Customer Service Rep: What programs are running ma’am?

Customer: Let me see….I have PASTHURT.EXE, LOWESTEEM.EXE, GRUDGE.EXE, and RESENTMENT.COM running right now.

Customer Service Rep: No problem. LOVE will automatically erase PASTHURT.EXE from your current operating system. It may remain in your permanent memory, but it will no longer disrupt other programs. LOVE will eventually overwrite LOWESTEEM.EXE with a module of its own called HIGHESTEEM.EXE. However, you have to completely turn off GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM. Those programs prevent LOVE from being properly installed. Can you turn those off ma’am?

Customer: I don’t know how to turn them off. Can you tell me how?

Customer Service Rep: My pleasure. Go to your Start menu and invoke FORGIVENESS.EXE. Do this as many times as necessary until GRUDGE.EXE and RESENTMENT.COM have been completely erased.

Customer: Okay, I’m done. LOVE has started installing itself automatically. Is that normal?

Customer Service Rep: Yes it is. You should receive a message that says it will reinstall for the life of your HEART. Do you see that message?

Customer: Yes I do. Is it completely installed?

Customer Service Rep: Yes, but remember that you have only the base program. You need to begin connecting to other HEARTS in order to get the upgrades.

Customer: Oops…I have an error message already. What should I do?

Customer Service Rep: What does the message say?

Customer: It says “ERROR 412 – PROGRAM NOT RUN ON INTERNAL COMPONENTS”. What does that mean?

Customer Service Rep: Don’t worry ma’am, that’s a common problem. It means that the LOVE program is set up to run on external HEARTS but has not yet been run on your HEART. It is one of those complicated programming things, but in non-technical terms it means you have to “LOVE” your own machine before It can “LOVE”others.

Customer: So what should I do?

Customer Service Rep: Can you find the directory called “SELF-ACCEPTANCE”?

Customer: Yes, I have it.

Customer Service Rep: Excellent, you are getting good at this.

Customer: Thank you.

Customer Service Rep: You’re welcome. Click on the following files and then copy them to the “MYHEART” directory: FORGIVESELF.DOC, SELFESTEEM.TXT, REALIZEWORTH.TXT, and GOODNESS.DOC. The system will overwrite any conflicting files and begin patching any faulty programming. Also, you need to delete SELFCRITIC.EXE from all directories, and then empty your recycle bin afterwards to make sure it is completely gone and never comes back.

Customer: Got it. Hey! My HEART is filling up with really neat files. SMILE.MPG is playing on my monitor right now and it shows that WARMTH.COM, PEACE.EXE, and CONTENTMENT.COM are copying themselves all over my HEART!

Customer Service Rep: Then LOVE is installed and running. You should be able to handle it from here. One more thing before I go…

Customer: Yes?

Customer Service Rep: LOVE is freeware. Be sure to give it and its various modules to everybody you meet. They will in turn share it with other people and they will return some really neat modules back to you.

Customer: I will. Thank you for your help.

Health tips to lead a healthy lifestyle

Eat Healthy Food & Avoid Oily Food

Healthy eating during the work days seems like a joke to many office-dwellers. With urgent datelines and meetings that intrude into the lunch hour, food from the nearest canteen or coffee shop is often the most popular choice.

Furthermore, sitting in a room with no windows for hours causes you to feel bored and reach for that bag of potato chips you’ve stashed in your drawer.

In short, this long-term pattern of eating cafeteria food and high-calorie snacks will only cause health problems for you, especially if you doesn’t have the habit to exercise after you leave the office.

The hectic pace of the workplace should nonetheless not dictate how healthy your meals are. Here’s some tips on how you can improve on what you eat in the office:

1. Bring your own food

The consensus of health and nutrition professionals is that you will eat much better & healthy food if you plan ahead and make your own lunch boxes. This allows you to control what goes into your meal, rather than rely on the high sodium and oily dishes from the canteen. Remember to include servings of vegetables and fruits.

When you get the craving to snack, go for unsalted nuts and preserved fruit, instead of potato chips and chocolate bars. ;)

2. Control portions to control your waistline

Portioning out your pre-packed lunches and snacks is key to eating healthily in the office. We all have a natural tendency to finish the serving we have, whatever the size, even though cravings are easily satisfied with small amounts.

3. Healthier choices

If bringing your own lunch is not feasible, go for healthier options when eating out. Choose fishball soup noodles over greasy fried Hokkien mee, or Subway sandwiches over a burger and fries combo. You will notice the difference straightaway when you feel less sluggish in the afternoon.

I am going to lead a healthy lifestyle, what about you?

The fisherman & The precious stones

Long time ago, there is this fisherman whom goes out to fish every morning, casts his net, gathers his catch and sells them in the market to makes a living.

On one occasion, he gets up too early and sleep eludes him. So he decides to go fishing. However, it was too dark to go into the sea to fish, so he strolls by the Bank of the River and waits for the Sun to rise. Surprisingly, he stumbles upon a sack.

This sack is a bit heavy and there were some pebbles in it. Now, when u have a river and a sack of pebbles and a lot of time to kill, the logical thing to do is to throw the pebbles into the river. This fisherman did just the same.

He tried all the things we do -  throwing it as far as possible, as high as possible, make the pebbles bounce as many times an possible.

Now with just one stone remaining, the sun shines on the stone in his hand & the stone began to glow!!

DIAMOND

The stone was a diamond!!!!

That’s when he realised that all those pebbles he had thrown away were actually precious stones!!!

Moral of the story – Don’t wake up too early in the morning~!!! :P